One day, I decided to have my cousin, Toni, carry me while she walked on the top of a wooden fence. The resulting fall and the bolt in the concrete pad I landed on head-first convinced me that tightrope walking was not for me!

I’m sure you’ve tried it, even if it’s only been a few inches in the air. You’ve found how difficult it is to keep your balance. You’ve felt what it was like to be up in the air, and experienced how you seemed to defy gravity suspended up there on such a thin strand by putting one foot in front of the other, carefully moving forward – arms outstretched to keep your balance and not fall.

We walk a tightrope everyday in our relationships.

It’s tough to keep friendships juggled; it’s difficult to maintain our equilibrium in our parenting of our kids; it’s hard to balance job and service to God and our relationship with Jesus and our relationship with our spouse and to keep it all together in each and every relationship without losing our balance and falling. . . falling apart, falling to pieces, falling prey to outside influences, falling victim to attacks against our vital relationships.

Without thinking too long and hard on this – you know inherently – some relationships are more important than others. You just know deep down that some relationships require priority time; some require greater emotional investment; some are simply more significant or essential than others. It’s when you have to start prioritizing the few MOST IMPORTANT relationships in life that it gets tough!

For example:
• Military commanders sometimes have to make tough decisions – sending some men off to certain death, while sending others to safety.
• Search and rescue personnel sometimes have to decide who to rescue first – and who to leave behind until they can return.
• Medical triage personnel in medical emergencies sometimes have to decide who will die and who will live depending on the severity of their wounds.

When it comes to the most important, central, vital relationships of life – prioritizing them and keeping them in balance with one another can be a very daunting task. Yet, we very much need to learn the balance between these vital relationships – because allowing them to get into the wrong order will cause enormous disorder, pain and hardship.

It’s a balancing act to learn to keep our relationships straight and prioritized.

What are these vital relationships – and why are they so difficult to keep straight and prioritized?

I believe Scripture helps define and prioritize six vital relationships in the life of a Christ-follower.

1. Jesus
2. Your husband or wife
3. Your Children
4. Your Friends
5. Your Job
6. Where you serve in ministry

Some people have all six relationships in their life; some have only four or five. No matter how many of these vital relationships you may have in your life, the order stays the same, and the instant we get them out of order – or put too much emphasis on one lower on the list – our whole life can get out of whack. We need to put these in the proper order – get them balanced in life – then work to improve each one of them.

Let’s take them in reverse order from the least important to the most important. Note that I’ve just said “least important.” Please know before we get into this, that that these relationships are the six most vital relationships in the human condition. To say that one is “least important” does not diminish the importance; it’s still a VITAL relationship. You need to understand this point, or you’ll be saying to yourself “What does he mean my ministry isn’t important?” or “How dare he tell me that my children aren’t the most important!” If you start thinking that, you’ll stop reading, and you won’t get to the Scriptural basis for this list. These are all vital – it’s just that some are more vital than others!

Let’s start with #6 – your MINISTRY.

The least important relationship in our life is our ministry or place of service to God and the church.

No, I have not just given you permission to stop working with the Pre-Schoolers!

Still, the Bible does let us know that there are other things more important than how or where we serve God. It doesn’t say anything like “Ministry is least important,” it merely talks about other relationships more often and places more emphasis on them. That’s how we come to see our ministry – as vital as it may be – as least on our list of vital relationships. We need to invest time and energy in these other relationships first – or our ministry will begin to wear us down and destroy the other five more vital relationships.

This is true even for the leaders of the church, Paul teaches us that, If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church? (1 Timothy 3:5)

If your ministry – your area of service – becomes higher in priority than any of the other vital relationships, you’ll be out of balance.

Let me clarify something here, because many will wonder: your ministry may be a voluntary ministry, but it is somewhat different than serving as a volunteer. Volunteering to coach a little league team or to help clean a local school facility is not the kind of “ministry” I’m talking about here. Those types of acts of service are not vital relationships; they’re not what I’m addressing. When I talk about you “ministry” I’m specifically talking about serving Christ and His Church by using your spiritual gifts and passions. When you minister, you’re joining with others to serve, and you typically will be helping others in some fashion; you’re certainly helping Jesus.

Ministry is a vital relationship; volunteerism in the community is merely an act of kind service.

The 5th most important relationship in life is your JOB.

Yes, I’m telling you that your job is more important than your ministry. Here’s why. Paul teaches us that “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” (Colossians 3:23) Paul was actually addressing Christian slaves who were owned by someone, telling them – and us – that we’re to obey our earthly masters in everything – not only to win their favor when they have their eye on us – but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord because it’s actually the Lord we’re serving in our work.

Paul also teaches us through his fellow apostle, Timothy, that if we do not provide for our family, we’ve denied our faith and we’re acting no better than someone who doesn’t even know Jesus. (1 Timothy 5:8)

So – our job rises above our ministry in importance.

Our FRIENDSHIPS come in at # 4.

Jesus had incredible friendships with His disciples and with others of His followers: Peter, John, Lazarus, Mary and Martha, Nicodemus. He loved them and looked out for them and took care of them.

He told us in John 15:13-14 that “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Then He goes on to say, “You are my friends, if you do what I command.”

Jesus had friends – He considers us His friends – and friends lay down their lives for one another. That’s a pretty significant relationship!

CHILDREN are 3rd on our priority list of relationships.

Now, I realize that this is where you might start to have issues with what I’m saying. Some will ask, “How can children be THIRD on ANY priority list?”

You need to remember that I told you that all of these relationships are vital and important. Children are amazingly important, and the fact that they find themselves third on the list shows that there are only two other relationships in life that surpass them.

We’re to “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) We’re to talk about godly things from the time they get up in the morning throughout the day and even when we put them to bed at night (Deuteronomy chapter 6).

Many of us think we’re supposed to dote on our kids and place them on a some kind of pedestal – yet, in Proverbs 17:6 we’re told that the PARENTS are the pride of their CHILDREN!

And there’s clear evidence in Scripture that our relationship with our spouse is even more important than the relationship with have with our children.

Before you get too angry about this, read on, and I believe you’ll see that I’m not belittling children or diminishing their importance – I’m just explaining how God elevates the importance of the next two vital relationships.

Let’s talk about the second-most important relationship in life: our WIFE or HUSBAND.

In Ephesians chapter 5, Paul talks about our relationship with our husband or wife as being like the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the Church. The relationship of husband and wife is like Jesus and His Church – giving His life – surrendering our own – living and loving and growing closer together.

Remember now – we’re not supposed to compare the relationship between Christ and the church to marriage! That would mean that we’re always fighting and arguing and experiencing discord! It’s the other way around - comparing marriage to Christ and His relationship with His Bride.

Husbands and wives love one another and give themselves wholly to the other; making each other radiant and unblemished and giving up our life for them.

What’s the most important vital relationship? Our relationship with Christ! Jesus is the most important relationship we can ever have.

Now – right about now, someone is thinking – “But I don’t have a wife or husband – or, I don’t have children. What about me?” You’re not left out here. You have a balance, too. You just don’t have the worry of those other relationships. . . you may have them someday – just not right now.

If you don’t have a spouse – but you do have children – your children just got promoted to second place!

If you are unmarried and have no children, Christ is first – and your friends come second.

What we all really need to know and focus on now – is that our relationship with Jesus is the most important relationship we can ever have.

Jesus said: “. . . seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33):

This is a spiritual truth – a spiritual principle – that God’s Word lays out very clearly: seek Him first – then the rest will follow; the rest of life comes into balance.

Now – it’s not easy to put Christ first – and life just doesn’t look rosy immediately nor does it always stay that way – but knowing that our relationship with Jesus is the most important relationship we can ever have puts us way ahead in terms of getting our life in balance.

Putting Jesus first is a combination of preventive medicine, knowing your limitations, and preparing for the inevitable.

You know what you need – you focus on that – and the rest takes care of itself.

• If you know you have an allergy to cats – and you’re going to visit friends who have a cat – you take your allergy medicine. Otherwise you have sneezing fits and itchy, watery eyes.

• If you know you get winded after walking 3 miles – you don’t go on a 5 mile walk.

Put more simply – you get your balance before you take a step onto the tightrope – and you work to keep your balance – or you’ll topple off and hope there’s a net!

There are many Christ-followers out there who don’t have the slightest idea of what it means to have a relationship with Jesus. How can we follow someone we don’t know? How can we know Him if we don’t study Him and read Him and listen to Him and speak with Him? We need to invest time and energy in this vital relationship!

• Jesus LIVES in us. (Galatians 2:20)
• He’s our Shepherd. (Psalm 23; John 10:11-16)
• He’s our friend. (John 15:14)
• He’s our Savior and our King and He loves us unconditionally.

Have you ever run into those kind of sad, pathetic groupies or fanatics who follow after rock groups or pop singers? They know a bunch of information about their favorite star – they know their birthday, and details about favorite foods, favorite colors and such. They’ll even get all excited about the time “Oh my gosh, I saw Britney walk into this clothing store,” or “Yeah, man, Elvis is just like any other guy. . .”

But – just ask them if they’ve ever actually met their idol Ozzie or Jessica and they pretend like they didn’t hear you. They know stuff about the person they admire – but they don’t actually KNOW them; they can tell you a lot about them – but they don’t actually have a relationship.

Friends – as Christ-followers, we need to be a FRIEND of Jesus – serious, committed, know-His-voice and know-His-touch kind of friends who spend time with Him everyday.

If your relationship with Him doesn’t come first in your life – if it is allowed to grow dim or get shallow – then all of your other relationships get out of whack – and life gets out of balance.

Some of us put our children first in our lives. It makes sense. They’re vulnerable, they’re cute, they need us; why shouldn’t we put them first?

Because Jesus is first. We seek Him first, and everything else in life comes more readily into alignment.

OK – so we get God first in life – but we put our children second. Our spouse is old enough to take care of him- or herself! God first, OK – but children second!

Well – our relationship with our wife or husband is compared to the relationship with Christ and His Bride, the Church. Our children ultimately grow up and grow away from us. If we’re not regularly investing in our spouse, what will be left when the kids are grown?

Kids are not supposed to be right there in second place behind our relationship with Christ! Our spouse IS!

OK – so we get Christ first, spouse second and kids third. Surely our ministry comes next?

When we put our ministry too high in the order, our job will suffer, our friendships will falter – and then we struggle to make sense of the disarray, so we short-change our kids and our spouse to get our ministry in order and – we’re out of whack again.

Sometimes our job is troublesome. We hate our work, so we take short cuts or fail to invest our time and energy – forgetting we’re working for the Lord, and we let it fall to the wrong level. Pretty soon, we’re spending more time in ministry than on our job – and you know your employer won’t honor that – and we’re out of balance again.

Some will put their job too high in the order. Their time with God is short-changed; the relationship with a husband or wife is placed on a back burner; time with kids gets forgotten or put on hold – and life gets out of balance.

This balance is not really a delicate thing, but it does take effort and some concentration and a good measure of intentionality. If we throw caution to the wind and ignore this balance, our lives are going to get out of whack and out of order – and that’s not fun.

Remember - some relationships are more important than others; some relationships require priority time; some require greater emotional investment – and of all the vital relationships in our life, the most important relationship is your relationship with Christ! Without it, the other relationships in life – your marriage, loving and raising your children, your friendships, your job – even your service in ministry - will pull us off balance.
Putting our relationship with Christ first brings wholeness, peace, and fulfillment in life.

Learn the balance in life – seek Christ first!